Materials written or translated by non-native speakers of English are often awkward and fail to convey their message effectively. Readers may lose interest … get confused … or laugh. Pen-for-Rent “translates” writing like this into solid, conversational American English.
The examples below show how we edit — and how we can help you say it in English as clearly and effectively as the author did in his or her own language.
Contact us if you’d like assistance in strengthening your materials.
| Native Language of Author/ Translator | BEFORE Editing (Awkward-English Examples as Found on the Web Before Editing) | AFTER Editing (Sample Pen-for-Rent Edits into Clear American English) |
|---|---|---|
| Chinese | You know that Western Medicine is the best solution for acute conditions. However, for treatment of chronic conditions, most modern people are preferring green and safe medicine and this tendency is becoming more and more prominent. Western medicine, which is based upon chemical materials and its side effects are sometimes stronger than the therapeutic roles, could not meet the demands of this new tendency. While traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) is based upon natural plants, and its comprehensive and flexible treatment strategies always bring about fantastic treatment result. So more and more people in the world are interested in TCM, and TCM is becoming a major medical stream in the world. It is our special honor to share this great medicine with you and other friends over the world! | As you know, Western medicine is the best remedy for acute conditions. However, for chronic conditions, people today often prefer safe, “green,” natural treatments, and this trend is gaining popularity. Western medicine, based on chemical compounds whose side effects are sometimes stronger than their healing qualities, cannot satisfy the needs of those who prefer the natural approach. Traditional Chinese medicine (TCM), on the other hand, is based on natural plant substances, and its comprehensive and flexible treatments always bring about excellent outcomes. As a result, more and more people around the world are taking an interest in TCM, which is gaining in credibility and popularity. It is our privilege to share this great medicine with you and our other friends all across the globe. |
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| French | Bordeaux mobilises all the actors of the tourism, hotel and restaurant sectors to ensure the best possible stay for both private and professional visitors that visit the city throughout the year for its major events. From hotel complexes to prestigious establishments, from winemaking chateaux to city centre hotels in the historical districts, the town and surrounding provide accommodation capacity of 7000 rooms. | Bordeaux brings together all tourism, hotel and restaurant industry professionals to ensure the best possible experience for business and leisure travelers who come for major events throughout the year. From modern hotel complexes to prestigious old establishments, from winemaking chateaux to city-center hotels in its historic districts, the town and surrounding area have 7,000 rooms available for visitors. |
| BEFORE Editing | AFTER Editing | |
| German | Passed the steep vine slopes of the middle Rhine river you’ll reach the Loreley rock. In early times, many a ships sank here. It was reported to have been a pretty, naked, blonde woman, who distracted the skippers from their work through her songs and by doing this, thrust many a ship into ruins. Through the narrowness of the river bed, the Rhine river was in fact within living memory a dangerous challenge for the navigation. Modern navigation systems make a fearless gaze of the legendary Lorelei rock possible today. Further downstream on the right Rhine river side, the castle Katz (cat) rises over the town of St. Goarshausen. On the left side of the Rhine river banks lies the skipper town of St. Goar. Here you go from board. After walking through the pedestrian zone and sauntering in a big cuckoo clock store you’ll drive with a miniature train to the Rhine hills and the castle Rheinfels high above St. Goar. Two (guided) round tours invite to the investigation of the castle ruin from the 13th century. With the miniature train it goes back to the boat landing stage and then with the ship back to Oberwesel. | Past the steep-sloped vineyards of the Middle Rhine, you’ll come to the Lorelei Rock. In early times, many a ship sank here. This is said to have been due to a beautiful nude blonde whose singing distracted sailors, which caused ships to run aground. Until recently, due to the narrow gorge, the Rhine remained a hazard to navigation. Today, modern navigation systems make it possible to look at the legendary rock without fear of wrecking your ship. Further downstream on the right bank, the Katz (Cat) Castle rises over the town of St. Goarshausen. The sailors’ town of St. Goar lies on the left bank. This is where you debark. After walking through a pedestrian-only area and checking out a big cuckoo clock shop, you take a narrow-gauge railway to the Rhine Hills and the Rheinfels Castle high above St. Goar, where guided tours allow you to explore this 13th century ruin. The train then returns to the dock and the ship heads back to Oberwesel. |
| BEFORE Editing | AFTER Editing | |
| Japanese | JPO (Japan Philharmonic Orchestra) has performed overseas tours eight times including four European tours, performance in North America and in Netherlands, so that plays a major role to international exchange through music. The performance in Estonia (2002, Japanese orchestra’s first appearance) and in Hawaii (2004) especially got into the media and attracted great attention. | The JPO (Japan Philharmonic Orchestra) has made eight overseas tours, including four European tours and performances in North America, so it plays a major role in the international music scene. Its performances in Estonia (2002, the first appearance in that country by a Japanese orchestra) and Hawaii (2004) garnered excellent media coverage and attracted considerable attention. |
| BEFORE Editing | AFTER Editing | |
| Korean | Cheju island (Chejudo) has good road system consisted of 182km circuit road along seashore, connecting road from beach to central area and transversal road connected from north to south. Cheju’s tourist attractions are mainly in seashore and there are 4 tour blocks of Cheju City, West Area, Seogwipo City and East Area. The usual tour course is starting form Cheju City using the circuit road to West Area and Seogwipo City and then East Area to Cheju City. The usual tour period is 3days and you can easily change schedule since you can move from Cheju City to any place with in 1 hour. Tourists generally stay on the island for at least two nights and three days. | Cheju island (Chejudo) has a good road system with a 182-km ring road along the coast, roads connecting the coast to the interior of the island, and north-south roads across the island. Cheju’s tourist attractions are mainly along the coast, in four areas – Cheju City, the Western Area, Seogwipo City and the Eastern Area. Tours usually start from Cheju City along the ring road to the Western Area, Seogwipo City, the Eastern Area, and back again to Cheju City. The typical tour takes three days, but you can easily change the itinerary, since from Cheju City you can go anywhere in less than an hour. Visitors generally stay on the island for at least three days and two nights. |
| BEFORE Editing | AFTER Editing | |
| Russian | Small Philharmonic Hall May, 15, 1949 in an ancient building on the Neva prospectus solemn opening a new chamber hall of the Leningrad philarmonic society was held. It was named the Small hall named after M.I.Glinka. Opening this hall, the philarmonic Society was based on rich traditions of domestic chamber art. On coast of Neva first attributes of chamber culture have appeared in first half XVIII century. The house in which today there is a Small hall of a philarmonic society, was erected in middle of XVIII century under V.F.Rastrelli’s project. Here were arranged baly and masquerades for what gracefully trimmed rooms were used a capacious hall on the second floor and prilegavshie to it. Since 1802 in a hall have started to carry out concerts of the first in Europe the Philharmonic society. | Small Philharmonic Hall The Leningrad Philharmonic Society’s chamber music hall, the M.I. Glinka Small Hall, opened on May 15, 1949, in a historic building on Nevsky Prospekt. The Philharmonic Society created the hall on the foundation of Russia’s rich chamber music tradition, which dates back to the first half of the 18th century. The building that houses the Small Hall, designed by V.F. Rastrelli, was built in the middle of the 18th century. A large room on the second floor and gracefully decorated adjoining rooms were used for balls and masquerades. Starting in 1802, Europe’s first Philharmonic Society began using the Small Hall to present concerts. |
| BEFORE Editing | AFTER Editing | |
| Spanish | Patagonia has a surface of 787,291 Km2, that represents a third of the national territory,and 1,481,580 inhabitants (4,5% of the Argentinean population). Its contribution to the national economy stands out in power matter. The Patagonia generates 84% of the Argentine oil production, it handles the fourth part of the installed electrical power, and extracts the 76,8% of the total national gas. | Patagonia has an area of 787,291 square kilometers, accounting for a third of the nation’s territory, and 1,481,580 inhabitants (4.5% of Argentina’s population). Energy is its major contribution to the nation’s economy. Patagonia produces 84% of Argentina’s crude oil, a quarter of its electric power, and 76.8% of its natural gas. |
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